Hello, it's been a while

Oh yes, I am back. I didn't forget about this blog but my life has changed a bit in the past few months. For the better? Yes, but not in the way I have expected. I won't bore you with the details but I feel less stagnant and more hopeful than I have in a long time. Anyway, what has inspired me to write, why yes this lovely lady's article:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2124246/Samantha-Brick-downsides-looking-pretty-Why-women-hate-beautiful.html


I won't snark or hate on her because she obviously needs some kindness in her life; however, this has made me think about my own standards of beauty and what is beautiful anyway?

I never thought I was even remotely attractive until college. I suffered from low self-esteem thoughout my entire life. I had terrible acne and was teased about it. I also developed rather early, so I was gawky and awkward, never athletic, so I knew that because my physical presence was imperfect, I had to make up for that in other areas. I hid from the world behind books and sarcasm, because those were the only ways I knew how to stand out. I may not have been beautiful but I made myself unique in other ways. Instead of going with the crowd, I went against convention as much as I could.

Beauty does not have be about convention. Beauty can be many things. One does not have to be tall, blonde or model thin to be beautiful. Some of the most beautiful women I know, possess a light I never could possess. They have a goodness, a beauty of their own. Physically they may be "imperfect" but they encompass a happiness, a loving nature that I could never have. They see beauty in others as much as they see it in themselves. That is true beauty.

There are days, I wish I could afford plastic surgery to become "more beautiful" but alas, I know that is not reality. I wish I had better skin and prettier legs. I envy those women with great legs and skin but I know realistically I am who I am and that I should be lucky that my skin is not burned and that I still have all my limbs because there are people out there not as lucky as me. Envy I may have, but hate I do not for beautiful women because I know I will never be one of them.