Annoyance and the Positive

I really was trying to make this blog a more positive place but it is not completely possible to be positive all the time is it? I realize I am not the most forgiving person. There are times, I am unreasonable and my actions may seem over the top; however keep this in mind, just because I am civil and somewhat friendly to someone, it does not mean I have forgiven this person or forgotten what happened. There are some things you cannot change and even though my actions are civil, it does not mean I am willingly letting this person back into my life. It also does not mean we are friends because the only way for us to be friends is, if we were to start all over again. We both know that is not possible. I am not sure why this person wants to be in my life or wants to be friends again, but whatever his/her reasons are, I find them suspect because either this person feels guilt or there is another reason I am not seeing. Maybe he/she wants things to be as before but that won't happen because one, I am hard headed and two, I really don't need this person in my life. I am sorry if this is disappointing to this person but he/she really shouldn't have hurt me. I won't tell this to person to fuck off, as much as I would like to because honestly he/she is not a bad person but I won't allow myself to be hurt again. Forgiveness is never an easy thing, but holding a grudge is never good either; however it is much easier to not have someone in one's life, then it is having he/she there. I don't want to feel jealous or angry or annoyed but that is how I feel and like anything that will pass (on my terms) and I will move beyond that. So for now, I pretend and am civil, it makes it much easier for peace and I am a better person for it. And that is the absolute truth.