Death is not what it seems

What do I know of death? A lot more than I should;however I couldn't say what happens to your "soul" or if there is a better life than this one, I am not psychic nor would I would lie to you about things I know nothing about. My beliefs don't fall into any category, it is a nice thought that an afterlife should exist but I don't feel any love other than for earthly beings, not the celestial kind. I don't want to get into the religious aspect of death because everyone should believe what they want, not what they are told to believe.

This is just my opinion though, so what brought up this morbid topic? Why a death in the family of course. My sister called me yesterday at work and told me our Great-Aunt Eleanor had passed over the weekend at the age of 92. 92! Please don't let me live that long, please. I am amazed I made it to 30, seriously. I had not seen her in many, many years. I knew her mainly from my childhood, as she and my mother seemed to be friends but once Aunt Eleanor remarried, she drifted apart from the family(strange how people in our family do this, we are not a close family). She was in the beginning stages of Alzheimer's, so it was a good thing she went when she did. Aunt Eleanor was the oldest of ten children and the two things I remember most about her were she was a coupon cutter and she liked to sew. I certainly didn't learn any type of frugality from her.

My sister asked if I could come to the funeral this weekend and I told her I didn't think I could. I have way too much stuff on my plate and it seems we said our goodbyes years ago. Is this rather cruel or selfish of me (yes to the selfish part)? Some may think so but I try to be practical about these things. Death doesn't bother me, nor do funerals for that matter, after all I have worked in a mortuary for years (well little children get to me). It's a process we go through and a part of life. Aunt Eleanor was just passing through this life and was a brief part of mine. I don't need to see her to say goodbye because I did that long ago.