I have trouble with coming up with creative titles, that & endings. I promise I will work on this.
The topic of the day? Cheating, not homework cheating either. The kind of cheating that can break your heart or mind. A divorced friend of mine confided in me that his/her spouse had cheated on him/her twice (well, that my friend knew about) within their marriage. I am sure there were other issues within the marriage but cheating is never the answer.
You want out? Just say the word and I am out, at least that's my philosophy. I am not against cheating for moral grounds (I am agnostic) but as a matter of principle and prior experience. When I was young and stupid, I was in a tumultuous relationship. My so-called boyfriend at the time, would ignore me and go out with other girls, which happened quite a few times. I thought I was in love, so I wanted to stay with him but love doesn't make a relationship. This went on for quite some time and then my neighbor came along. I knew he always had a thing for me and although I didn't want to be with him, I still slept with him. Why, there are a few reasons but mainly because I could. The opportunity presented itself and my boyfriend didn't seem to care. It didn't make me feel any better, nor was it right for that matter.
Now I realize our relationship was never great because my ex-boyfriend always wanted out but I was too blind to see it. I think some of us do put on blinders in a relationship and to me this was never a "real" relationship. I didn't have the feeling that I was worthy of something better, maybe we all felt that at one time. I have never been married, so I don't know what truly goes on in a marriage. I do know people evolve as well as relationships, whether for the good or the bad, however I don't believe cheating on anyone is ever the answer.
Oh, I realize there will always be temptation and flirtation but if you can't control yourself beyond that, then you may ask yourself why am I still with this person? Leaving is never easy but staying may be harder in the long run. I am not preaching to anyone, just venting and sharing my own experience because my friend, whether he or she believes it or not, deserves much better. I hope he/she finds someone as equally worthy as he/she is because the cheater is a moron (sorry I know that's not nice) and didn't realize what he/she had, until my friend decided to end the marriage.
It takes a lot of courage to end a relationship that is not working and I have to admire my friend, that although there were other reasons for the dissolve of the marriage, for staying as long as he/she did because I don't know if I could have. I am not comparing my experience to his/hers because they are nothing alike but I can relate on some level. I do know that this experience taught me, you must communicate with the other person, otherwise the other person does not know what your expectations are. The never knowing is a killer and the should I or shouldn't I, all the questions that come with the ending of the relationship, are never an easy task to bear but like I said previously, I don't know what goes on in a marriage nor was I directly involved in my friend's marriage.
I realize at times, I may share some really personal experiences but it's part of being a writer, right?, putting yourself out there, something I am slowly learning to do. I can only share my experience with you and that is, cheating is never the answer. You want out, then just go.
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